You’ve almost made it. Decision day has come and gone, you’ve updated your Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter with State U ’19 (well, maybe we’ll make it an even ’20), and, of course, you’ve filled your drawers with your schools tank tops to wear over summer session and into next school year…you’re ready! …right?

Not ready yet


Not even close.

But no need to fear; we here at College Tanks are here to supply you with some real serious life pro tips that will have you walking into your first day at school like a savvy vet.

There are ‘magic toilets’ around campus.

 Magic Toilet!

There are toilets around campus that no one knows about. It will be clean, it will probably have two-ply toilet paper, and it will likely be the closest experience you will have to your porcelain palace back home. Find it. Cherish it. And tell no one of its existence. This may sound like a joke, but you’ll see.

Don’t buy your books at the bookstore.


First, wait a bit and see if you absolutely NEED the book for the class. Every professor teaches classes differently and some may not even use the assigned book at all. If you do need the book, avoid the book store at all costs. It’s the biggest scam running. Try Amazon or Chegg first, or see if someone who took the class before is willing to part with it at a price that’s slightly higher than the Pawn Stars offering that bookstores will offer you when you try to sell them back at the end of the semester. Take the money ‘2you saved and buy a new tank top, you deserve it.

Learn to make some easy meals to avoid the all-too-real “Freshman 15” or “Freshman Going Broke”

 Cereal, a good breakfast, lunch, dinner, and midnight snack!

I made that last one up. It’s not as catchy. But I digress....Cheap food. Healthy food. Quick food. Pick 2. And when delivery fees don't include the tip, your $6 order in is slowly approaching $11.


When it comes to sleep, choose your battles wisely.

Grouchy much?

 You won’t function well without sleep. Very rarely is an extra two hours of Call of Duty worth trying to get through a Chem lab on 3 hours sleep. Now, if you’re having a pledge party with the DG girls, that’s a different story…

Get out of your comfort zone.

Make like the flying J and JUST DO IT

College is all about growing and developing as a person before you actually have to be a ‘real’ person. Do things you’re not comfortable with, be it as small as introducing yourself to the cute girl in your class or as big as running for president of your entire freshman class. Everyone else is as clueless and terrified of the changes happening as you are and, the sooner you get comfortable with your new environment, the sooner you’ll start having the ‘real’ college experience.

Do your work!

 See, studying CAN be cool

It’s shocking that this even has to be said, but it does. College is a lot of things. But at its core, it’s for learning, enrichment, and betterment. Do your homework. Study for you exams. And GO TO CLASS. You (or your parents) are paying a lot for this, get the most out of it. It’s way better to be the well balanced person who can have a great time while still killing it in class than the person who has a great time, sleeps in all day, and ends up on academic probation within 6 months of graduating high school.

So congrats on getting in and picking your school. You made the right choice. Hopefully some of these things will help you out your first couple weeks on campus.

And keep your eyes open for that secret bathroom.